Hey guys, so sorry this is super late, I know I’ve been slacking A LOT on these things, I’m just a really distracted teen. This was supposed to be up weeks ago. Plus, this show is starting to give me multiple headaches and basically all I want to say in my recaps is “I don’t approve of anything basically just give me back Stelena and all will be right in the world.” Which is pretty much true. I’ve lost all other opinions with this show but I’m still holding on.
Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Ric is evil now and a tree has become our big bad.
Not even sure what happened here with Damon and Elena, I just picked up on that she brought food over and Damon was being snarky, which is always fun. Oh and they’re cutting wood. Fun times. OH HEY, STEFAN. He’s doing something you guys. I don’t think he’s done anything in a while, but then again I don’t remember because I’m the worst fan. They’re working on a plan, too! Let’s see how that goes.
I love friendship moments so much. Remember that time Caroline was attacked in season 2 and Stefan set up a sleepover with Elena and Bonnie. *feelings*. Ok, sorry, I had a moment. I feel really bad for Caroline, knowing that Ric killed her father. And I give props to Elena for trying to help out even though most of these things are her fault. Not this time, but most of it. MATTY IS THERE. They’re having a secret meeting, y’all. You know it’s about to go down when that happens. And BAM, they all have stakes.
Wow, I don’t care for Finn anymore. He can go. Klaus can too, to be honest, but Joseph Morgan is pretty and I have mixed feelings about it. Plus, he has the sexiest accent, I’d miss it. OH, look he’s cornered. This is the toughest family love ever. They need a good century of therapy.
So, this is where we get the low-down on the master plan operation. I’m still confused by it and I rewatched a good 4 times. All I know is Caroline is Klaus bait and Matt is Rebekah bait. And there’s 12 stakes. And they’re practicing. This is gonna be interesting.
Ugh, it’s Sage. Make her go away. Wait, what is that phone Klaus has? Why is he texting like that? What is that? I’m confused by his choices in technology, wow product placement is the worst. Okay, moving on. Rebekah wants revenge on Damon, I’m down.
Is Ric talking with an accent? He mentioned the soapdish! That never gets old! “Have you learned nothing from the moonstone and the soapdish?” He really hasn’t if he hid his stake under a pile of fire wood. REBEKAAAAH. She’s the greatest bitch ever. Aside from Katherine. I miss her, when is she coming back in my life?
Bonnie is MIA, you guys, I don’t like it. Oh look it’s Finn and Sage. They’re the worst, they can die together.
OH GEEZ. I’m always down for someone to beat Damon or whatever, but those traps? Excuse me I may puke. I have the easiest stomach ever, I can’t watch anything like that. (Yes I see the irony of that and watching a vampire show, I can handle it, I have tivo). Rebekah is kinky, y’all. THERE’S BONNIE. Poor girl, Klaus is the worst. JESUS, he has eyes on Jeremy in Denver, he really is the worst. I mean, he’s not that scary considering he draws ponies and a tree has taken his spot as Big Bad, but he’s overall the worst.
Caroline and Ric bonding, the feelings right now. And he apologized. I really just want everyone to live happily ever after with each other in Mystic Falls, waiting on the series finale to be honest. This scene really broke my heart, though. No one in that town has a happy life.
I don’t exactly know if Damon would stop everything to save Stefan because that has rarely happened in the past, maybe back in season 1 when Frederick kidnapped and tortured him, but I don’t know about that these days.
Can we not show these things, I feel like puking, it’s disgusting. OH HEY ELENA. I bet you guys this is all a dream right now, it’s Damon hallucinating. It has to be. HA CALLED IT. It was Rebekah, that was great. Wow, he’s rude, that’s why you’re stuck there. Stab him again.
BONNIEEEE. Baby girl. Go get him. Slap him or curse him. Something. Whatever you wanna do, just put him in his place, make him do yard work or something, I think the Salvatores need their weeds taken out. Anyway, how does Klaus have all this blood, Bonnie’s expression is my expression right now. I don’t know.
He’s been in a coffin for 900 years, stupid what do you think, of course he hasn’t had tequila. See how badly she needs to go, though!? AND she put her hand on Matty, nope she needs to GO like now. HAHA Look at Stefan casually texting, I found it funny don’t ask. Oh hey, they were vervained. That’s some creepy unbinding going on with the blood and all, Bonnie is a badass. OH MY GOD MATT KILLED FINN YOU GUYS. MATTY DID IT. I’M STILL TAKING BACK EVERYTHING BAD I EVER SAID WHEN JENNA DIED (still bitter about that). HE IS A BAMF OKAY. I LOVE HIM.
So all the Originals, besides Finn, are still alive and unbound. Bonnie > everyone though. (Besides Stefan). She deserves better than this, everything always comes down on Bonnie. “I miss well-adjusted Stefan.” I LOVE CAROLINE TOO. Remove Sage y’all, I can’t anymore, stop hurting Stefan he’s better than you ever were. WHAT is going on here? What’s she doing? Is she dying? She DIED you guys. And Stefan is a genius. He figured it out all by himself, oh my god someone give him a bunny. But seriously, THAT’S a twist. THAT was a good twist. I miss that stuff. It’s like season 1 worthy twists.
Oh Stefan. He’s coming to save Damon, AGAIN. He’s lying though, it’s not 8 stakes but that works for me too. Oh Klaus is smart. “Nic, he’s my plaything, not yours.” HAHA. Okay. OH wait no, I can’t look at this part, hold on *fast forwards*. That’s disturbing, anyone have a barf bag?
Okay, back at the Salvatore house. So, now all they really have to do is figure out from what bloodline the brothers are descended from and then everything will be okay. OH WAIT THOUGH, if it wasn’t Klaus and they end up killing Klaus, then Tyler will die.
CAN WE NOT, THANKS KLAUS. But seriously, no. You took away his life basically. Stefan is the fiestiest. I like it. Snap Klaus’ neck or something, make him unconscious for a while and draw on his face.
Well, tell us how you really feel about your family Klaus. I agree with Rebekah. In the end, after all the bs, Stefan and Damon will probably die for each other. (Remember the times when this show was about family? No, me neither).
I’m glad Stefan is over it though, at least I think he is. Klaus isn’t worth hating just move on with life. “And what do I lose in the process?” OH, well then. My heart can’t take this scene. “I never stopped loving you.” Wow, I can’t deal with my life. CAN I HAVE MY BABIES BACK. “I love you. I will always love you.” I’m gonna go jump off a bridge, okay. And then she doesn’t even know what tell him when he asked about her feelings, he just drops his head. I can’t with this anymore. Wow, okay.
Oh, basically Ric lost his stake. His evil alter ego took it and hid it away.
MVP goes to Zach Roerig because of the awesome moment when Matt killed Finn and, in turn, killed Sage too, just like I wanted. And another MVP award to Kat Graham because everything horrible happens to Bonnie lately and I just want my favorite people to be happy and live a happy life.
Screencaps: Home of the Nutty