Vampire Diaries Recap EP306 “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Go Timberwolves!

This last episode really indulged in the ghost story a bit more than we already had, and I have to say, it’s about time! I was dying to see something good happen with this story! And also on the plus side, we did get to see the real, new and improved Ripper in present day. I don’t know about you guys, but I love it. Yes, he’s a dick, but I found it so funny. Last night’s episode wasn’t one of the greats, in my opinion, but it was definitely very interesting!

Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Matt thought it would be brilliant to kill himself to see Vicki the ghost when Jeremy can already do that. Katherine and Damon were looking for Mikael, the complicated vampire-hunting vampire who knows how to Klaus (YAY). Klaus made Tyler his first successful puppy hybrid. Stefan went full-on Ripper on Elena (and I cried buckets.)

Why do we get so many “Elena-is-waking-up-and-she’s-super-depressed” scenes? I understand your boyfriend tried to eat you, but I hope she gets to move on a little bit and try to be somewhat happy despite the complete nonsense that is her life. See, Alaric wakes up like a normal person. (These are the things that interest me? Oy vey.)

Alright! Elena’s training to be a vampire slayer! I do agree with Alaric, she is a little scrawny to be taking on Stefan. But she is one of the strongest people on this show to go through what she goes through just about every day and have the strength to actually get out of bed. That’s a trooper!

Alas, senior year. They’re so excited. Their lives suck. I’d be a little depressed, too. “Today’s our anniversary. Technically, Stefan and I met on the first day of school last year.” Wait, let me grab my tissues, I have the sniffles.

Oh, Stefan. Complete role reversal here with the Salvatores. Reminds me of the time when Damon brought home all the girls to play with and suck their blood, while Stefan stood around with broody eyebrows. Stefan’s being such a douche, but I love it. See what I mean? Ha. “Oh, I’m sorry. Your tone implies that I’m actually supposed to care.” Rebekah can always come and live with me. She just can’t eat me, though. Can she stay forever?

Bonnie should really give Jeremy a break with this ghost deal. She brought him back from the dead, and that’s pretty heavy magic, and the witches helping her out said there will be consequences in doing so. And there’s your consequences, girl! The witches warned her about this, she shouldn’t be so upset with Jeremy. It’s not like there’s much for him to do about it.

MATTY. He’s alive and well, thank God. I honestly can’t believe that two whole seasons have been one year in Mystic Falls. Is it even possible for all of that to happen in one year? Oh, the wonders of television. Anyway, Vicki tells Matt that with his help, she can come back. Great, in a town with vampires, witches, werewolves, and a hybrid, all we need is junkie ghost wrecking more havoc around town. I don’t really trust her much, anyway.

Tyler seems awfully chipper.

Back in Charlotte, Katherine is trying to get Mikael to wake up. Did I miss the 2 seconds in last weeks episode where Katherine and Jeremy found Mikael and his eyes immediately flew open, and we all thought he was awake? No? Then, what the hell writers?! Stop confusing me. Seriously.

Damon has some good stuff here. “We have a new housemate… Barbie Klaus.” One of the greatest nicknames anyone could have ever came up with for Rebekah. I approve. “Stefan… what’s he up to?” “Oh, you know. Journaling. Reading. Shaping his hair.” I’m glad the boy has the decency to wake up in the morning and style his hair. I wonder if he takes as long as Uncle Jessie did.

Tyler’s a messy eater. And the fact that he’s so excited about being the first hybrid worries me little. This can not end well.

PILOT PARALLEL. Stefan and Elena bump into each other on the first day of school by the boys bathroom. Memories. “What do you mean? I’m going back to school! Go Timberwolves!” He’s being such a jerk. I may be the only one who is giggling throughout this entire scene. As suckish as it may be, now that he’s a full blown Ripper with no humanity and Elena’s all sad and depressed about it, I still giggled. I love those two together but his storyline this season excites me, guys. (Unlike last season where he did absolutely nothing!)

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I absolutely love this little scene when Stefan comes to class. Elena’s the annoyed girlfriend (ex-girlfriend?) and Stefan’s just a cocky, jerk boyfriend. The looks exchanged made me giggle. And Rebekah seems to be going to high school now. No one seems happy about it. This looks like another pilot parallel, when Stefan came to class and schooled Mr. Tanner on history. Considering how this episode has been going, Rebekah may be right about the vikings. Interesting. We’ll possibly never know, anyway.

Excuse me, sir. Sir. Why are you talking to your ghost sister in the open, at school? He looks crazy. Stop it, Matt. Oh, for a second there I thought Jeremy couldn’t see Vicki anymore. He’s a good spy. So, Vicki has a witch helping her from her side. There’s a ritual to perform to this nonsense to happen, of course. She can appear and disappear whenever she wants. I’m telling you, Matty, this is a bad idea! Walk away! He still looks crazy too. There’s a lot of information given here and switching between scenes, it’s giving me a headache. Anna’s obviously right. Let’s bring her back instead, she seems to be more useful anyway.

Football practice! Why are they clothed? Tyler, take that do-rag off! Everything about him looks wonderful except for that do-rag. “Has anybody seen Dana?” AW. YOU GUYS. RIP. She’s obviously missed. Oh. My. Jesus. Rebekah’s joining the cheerleaders to harass Caroline. Seriously, can we keep her? I want to see those two go head-to-head. I’ll call it “Battle of the Barbies”. It’ll be fantastic and there will be glitter wrestling.

Tyler is having way too much fun with his new toys. I can’t blame him. You don’t know how many times I wish I could compel my teachers to give me A’s on my tests. (Shh, what is read here, stays here ). But Caroline isn’t happy about it. She’s not happy about Rebekah there either.

Stefan is being super annoying here and I am enjoying every bit of it. He’s a major douche but Paul Wesley pulls it off so well. “You think I’m annoying now, wait ’til homecoming. Hey, who you bringing by the way? I don’t want it to be… weird.” Let’s keep this sarcasm around after we get the old Stefan back, okay. “I’m the guy who’s been assigned to protect a human bloodbag.” I love him, okay!

Well, Mikael’s finally awake.

That was a bit of a jerk move, Damon. Let the girl be trained like a Warrior Princess should. I honestly do not understand why Damon has to be CONVINCED to help save Stefan. Let me remind you how many times Stefan has saved your sorry ass. Seriously? It’s sad that Elena has to convince Damon to save his own brother. His flesh and blood for over a hundred years. It saddens me that Damon’s love for Elena seems to be stronger than his love for his brother now. When Damon was the evil brother back in season 1, Stefan never hesitated to help him out when he needed it. And he did such stupidity. Now that Stefan has lost his humanity, Damon just gives up on him? I can’t even begin to explain how much it upsets me. And I would have actually enjoyed this scene a bit if Damon didn’t manhandle Elena like that. But I guess she was okay with it. I’m going to go grab a bucket for my vomits.

The Scoobies have a plan to lock up Stefan! Go team! No, I lied. I don’t like this. Let’s keep him. “So… preoccupy her with you charm.” “We have better luck finding a dagger.” I cackled. So loud. It was embarrasing. Thank God I watch this show alone. It’s about time someone was mad at Damon longer than a day. He gets a slap on the wrist way too often. I hope it takes Alaric a looooooong time to forgive Damon. (I pray they don’t make him angry at Damon for a week and then forgive him and be bro’s again like they did with Elena when Damon killed Jeremy).

They’re finally explaining the sire story! About time. (I had to learn this from Buffy over the summer, greatest vampire show ever, and they explained it way earlier). When a vampire is sired, they begin to feel loyal to their “master”. Tyler feels this loyalty because it was Klaus’s blood that created him. So, now he feels entitled to give Klaus credit for what he is and look out for him, to into consideration what would be beneficial to his cause.

Aw. Look at that. Rebekah’s still jealous Stefan isn’t paying attention to her so she moves on to try and get Tyler’s attention. Caroline’s going to be pissed! And Snarky Elena is my favorite. “Really? You think I’m gonna let a blood addict tell me how to drink?” She should be like this all the time.

Hey, Matty. What you doing there? Stop it. I’m serious, stop that. It won’t end well. This is The Vampire Diaries, it never ends well! Whoa, wait. They can touch each other now! THEY’RE HUGGING. AW. This is so cute. I’m glad Matty feels at least a little happy during all of this craziness. Vicki was always the only person he had left.

Jeremy has a point but so does Bonnie. Anna is on the other side of all this so she can be useful for information. But Bonnie is still a witch, no matter how useless she might have been, even though I still loved her and cried like a baby when she “died”. Anyway, Jeremy could have at least given her a heads up when he heard Matt talking about it with Vicki.

YOU SEE MATTY. I told you it was a bad idea! Aren’t we glad he’s in the know about all this?

Elena smiles! Alert the media. (See what I did there?) Stefan was wrong, Elena is not a lightweight, apparently.

I like Stefan and Rebekah much better than Damon and Rebekah. Although, I like when Damon tries to be nice like that. It’s refreshing from all the stupidity and doucheness (that may not be a word but it’s okay). And I dislike the fact that Stefan doesn’t even care about Elena being even remotely jealous of Damon attempting to flirt with Rebekah. It’s obvious she kind of is, so why deny it?

Bonnie seems to be acting useful for the cause this season. At least the cause isn’t saving Elena.

Are all Originals good at figuring things out so quickly? They seem to be the only smart ones on the show. Everyone else doesn’t seem to get anything. Let’s have more Originals. They all seem to hate Damon, too. Originals are fun.

Now Tyler wakes up in his house, wherever this room is. I don’t remember. It’s a big house, anyway. Who even remembers all the rooms? Anyway, Tyler’s owning up to his doucheyness (another word that may not actually be a word) from today. He was seriously a jerk to Caroline and I’m glad they can actually talk about these things. It’s healthy to talk to each in a relationship, I’m sure. This show doesn’t really explain these things. To some poor soul, they might think Stefan’s little party at the beginning of the episode is healthy and normal. The relationships aren’t even logical on this show anyway so why am I even trying to argue this?! (Lol). “Everything I like about me is you.” All together now: AAWWWW.

Drunk Elena! She should come around more often and make Whiny Elena go away and never return. “I thought that Ripper Stefan is supposed to be the life of the party.” See how awesome Drunk Elena is. This is like that time they made Stefan drunk while he was on human blood back in season 1. They should get married. Aaaannd… BAM. Stefan saves Elena. We get to see a little glimpse of Stefan that Paul was talking about. Gloria even said that his love for Elena is in his soul, or something like that. But it’s inside him somewhere. Whether he’s a ripper or not, deep down somewhere, Stefan will always love her. And whether he’s compelled to do so, he’ll always protect her. And then Alaric interrupts a perfectly good Stefan/Elena moment. Not cool!

Damn these commercials! Seriously, CW!

Vicki, girl! What are you doing! Stefan’s in there! Get him out first, AT LEAST. Kidding! But really, someone should get her out of there. If she dies again and old Stefan comes back, it’ll kill him. Of course she won’t actually die because, you know, she’s part of the trinity, but still. That may be the only reason I have to keep her around. For the old Stefan’s sake. Okay, so, while Elena is trapped and being barbequed, along with Stefan, Bonnie and Matty are trying to undo the spell and send Vicki back. Apparently, that brought her back to them, and Matt has to send her back. I feel bad for the boy. He’s lost everything and then Vicki came back to him so he felt a little bit better. Now he has to lose her all over again. But now, at least he was given the opportunity to say goodbye to Vicki. Poor kid. I just want to give him a hug and take him home with me.

Elena saves Stefan before the car blows up! Oh, and before that, Stefan kicked the back window open for her. That’s twice in mere minutes that he saves her. That is all.

Elena barely even has a scratch on her. There really is no need for all this first aid nonsense. She’s so impossible to kill. God bless Alaric for walking in.

They’re so cute, you guys. I never thought I would like these two fools together but I have joined the Forwood bandwagon. Obviously. Plus, I wonder how Tyler feels about the vampire stuff now. Like, biting that girl Rebekah just brought him, for example.

Mikael has been denying himself human blood. So he’s one of those self-loathing vampires, then. Okay. HEY HEY HEY. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NOT GOOD AT ALL. LEAVE KATHERINE ALONE. GO FIND ANOTHER VAMPIRE TO EAT. Damon’s always available. (Obviously, he drinks vampire blood. In case no one caught on there to my little outburst.)

“It’s okay if you want to be friends with Damon again.” NO ELENA. It is not okay! The man killed him because Ric pissed him off! How would that be okay a week later?! Girl. You are majorly being side eyed right now. Stop being stupid. If Damon killed you for no reason, but you came back to life with that magical ring, how long would it take you to forgive him? If it were me, I’d tie him up and shoot wooden bullets at him for a good day or so. (As messed up as my head is right now, yes I might do that. But he doesn’t even exist so there’s no need to worry). It’s never right to kill someone because they pissed you off, Elena. I’m glad Alaric doesn’t want to be friends with Damon again. Maybe not for a while, at least, because everyone forgives him at some point for some reason.

“You really got me tonight. I definitely wasn’t expecting that.” No one expects Elena to be badass and have an actual decent plan that probably would have worked if it wasn’t for Vicki. None of the fandom did, I’m sure. It’s about time someone had a pretty good plan. “I’ll always protect her. I think you’re both better off having me around.” I can’t tell if he’s serious or being a douche. Elena tells him she still has hope he can come back but Stefan tells her that she’s pathetic to even think that. “No, Stefan, it makes me strong.” WHAM, Stefan was staked in the stomach by Elena. She’s getting better. Vampires of Mystic Falls, watch yourselves.

Why was Jeremy thinking about Anna while calling Bonnie? Was he thinking about her without even realizing he was thinking about her? Or did he realize he was thinking about Anna but didn’t try to shake the thought? Hmm. I am skeptical. Jeremy still loves Anna, apparently. And why can Anna suddenly touch him now? What happened here? It was probably Matt’s spell he did for Vicki. When he did that for her, he brought back all these ghosts, people who have died in Mystic Falls who were connected to the characters.

I cackled so hard! MASON. Did anyone notice the irony in this scene? Damon rolling up a rug and then Uncle Mason shows up to mess with him. Oh, how I miss him. He was so cute.

Next week: The ghosts of everyone who died in Mystic Falls comes back. Uncle Mason! Grams! LEXI! My baby girl, Lexi is coming back and you know how excited I am for her!

MVP for this week is hard. I’d have to give it up to the Donovans. Zach Roerig and Kayla Ewell. They were amazing in their scenes. I know everyone pretty much hates Vicki since season 1, but I have my moments where I like her and hate her. This episode, I had both. But Kayla Ewell did such a great job. The Donovans had such a strong relationship. They were really all that each other had. When Vicki died, Matt was devastated. And it was refreshing to see them together again, reminiscing about their first day last year and being around each other. When Matty had to let her go, you could really tell the pain he was going through. As much as his sister caused problems for him, he’ll always love her and care for her. He didn’t want to let her go, really. But he had to. And it hurt him. Zach Roerig was fantastic showing that. Both of them should get more credit for their skills.