Everyone, I think it’s finally sunk in that The Vampire Diaries is really back and we have new episodes every Thursday. Oh, happy day! Well, at least it has for me. So, who loved last night’s episode? Who thought Elena’s plan sucked majorly? And everyone noticed the various scenes of shirtless men and Stefan arm porn, right? Of course you all did! Here we go…
Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Stefan was a badass and made us all cry. Klaus just made Stefan do stuff. Elena had a party. Alaric’s a useless drunk but we all love him. Damon threw a fit again. Caroline and Tyler had sexy time. And Matt and Jeremy almost did too.
Starting off the episode after Elena’s 18th birthday bash- Damon tells Elena that Andie died and she doesn’t care. Everyone flips out because she does not care. I wanted to give her a high-five. And Ian busted out with horrible eye and eyebrow acting when Elena told him Stefan called last night. It was just bad.
Shirtless Ric. Everyone approves. Again, I’m still loving that Elena is trying so hard to get Stefan back. It warms my little shipper heart. But seriously though, Elena’s plan is bad. Like always. “He would never give up on me. I’m not gonna give up on him.” Oh, my heart.
Honestly though, when Klaus asked Stefan if he was okay, what did that sound like to you guys? He said it in such a sweet voice. I literally “awed”. But Stefan just ain’t having it. I mean, poor guy, he’s carrying around a half dead werewolf up the mountains in the same clothes. And that’s pretty much ALL he did this week. So I guess I’m done.
No, I’m kidding. I’m not done. But it was pretty much all Stefan did.
And everyone knows about Klaus. How could they not? Werepire’s aren’t common.
“Morning, Ty. Your supposed girlfriend’s a hoe and I captured her. Have some vervain coffee. I hope you don’t choke on it, really.” Where’s the kitchen? In all of that big ‘ol mansion, they have no kitchen? This worries me just as much as Jenna not having a bedroom until 2 episode before she was killed off. Oh, and Tyler just owned his momma in his ghetto stance. “Oh, and Caroline… not a prostitute”. Stay classy guys.
Carol Lockwood… WHO ARE YOU CALLING?
Shirtless Matt, Sharie approves. 
. (Y’all should know Sharie). It’s bromance time. Can Jeremy get shirtless too and talk about ghosts that he binged? I think it’s a wonderful plot. I watch for plot, of course, guys. Plot is important. Anyway, I don’t think all these facts Jeremy binged about are actually correct. Do the writers just make this stuff up as they go? I mean, bing can’t have all the answers.
Oh hey, the first time Tyler and Elena actually have a scene since Tyler tried to kill her to break his curse. Look at how far they’ve come. It’s a nice friendship. I like when other characters are involved in major storylines. It’s refreshing. And they have something to do.
Elena’s plan! “Let’s go hunt an entire PACK of werewolves on a full moon in the middle of the mountains!” How many times have you died, child? You’re close to Buffy’s death count but she was useful. First important, responsible, adult decision Ric makes: having Elena drive. Jenna would be proud… *tears*.
Back in the country, Klaus talks about himself. And Ray needs some human blood to complete his vampire transition. I bet you guys Ray wishes he never left the house yesterday. “You don’t drink it, Ray, then I will. Problem is, I don’t know how to stop.” No more talking for you, Stefan. You make me want to crawl into a corner and weep and weep. But this was a pretty cool scene. The psycho hybrid madness in this episode is part of what made it so great. Did anyone notice Klaus has TWO sets of fangs? Weird. Someone go ask Julie Plec about that on twitter.
I miss the Tyler and Matt bromance from season 1. Tyler apologizes about the Caroline thing but Matt just ain’t having that either. And then comes that awkward moment when Matt is trying to ask if Tyler needs any help with his wolf transformation since Caroline has gone AWOL. Oh Matty, you’re so cute. He also puts vervain in the coffee on Sheriff Forbes requests. Where is she anyway? Why is she so busy off camera and has nothing to do on camera? Oh, and Tyler figures out that his mom put vervain in his coffee this morning. He’s so upset.
WHO IS THIS MAN? What is going on? What does Mrs. Lockwood want to do with Caroline? She’s known about Care for months? Seriously, who is that man?
Elena and Alaric are on a vampire hunting vacation. There’s pretty places in Atlanta (you all should know they shoot in Hotlanta by now and if you don’t, now you do). It’s funny how they arrive in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee in the same amount of time it would take me to drive to a McDonalds, or a shopping center. Time has no limitations on television. By the way, I also miss the useful, vampire hunting Alaric that made all those weapons. Oh, the flawlessness of season 1. “Yeah, well then, why don’t you save it for future generations of stubborn, relentless, baby Gilberts.” “Okay, well, how about you borrow it until after we survive this. I feel bad if I got you killed before happy hour.” THE JOKES. I love it. This is wonderful. Let’s have more of this, okay writers? Elena made a funny! Alert the media!
Oh, check this out you guys… “I don’t know why you think that you’re a lost cau-” BAM! ELENA GOES FLYING. Her reaction: “the hell bruh”. My exact reaction: “Dude that was a jerk move… *cannot contain laughter* LMAO BAHAHAHAHA OMG ELENA LOLOL. That may have been the best thing Damon has ever done. But it was a bit of an a-hole move. I’ve rewinded it a couple of times, though. Plus, it turns out Alaric tipped Damon off about Elena’s awesome plan. Responsible adult decision number two.
Meanwhile, Klaus tries to make more hybrids. And Stefan wonders why all these hybrids are even relevant, and why he’s even relevant to Klaus. These guys are so smart. Werewolf Ray is bleeding from his eyes and Stefan says, “Something’s wrong… That shouldn’t be happening.” Yes, love, bleeding from your eyes is not a normal thing. Sherlock Stefan, for the win.
Back by Dawson’s Creek, Damon scolds Elena like she’s a 6 year old. And Alaric is tired of idiots, obviously. Elena still has no plan, really, but Damon just gives in anyway. It’s not a safe plan. There’s a full moon and she’s risking Klaus knowing that she didn’t actually “die” and he “killed” her. And no Damon, no one wants to relive that death bed kissy thing. Also, more eye/eyebrow acting for Ian. Or Damon. Whatever you wanna call him.
More hybrid madness! Stefan says something which I cannot hear and Klaus gets pissy. Four for you, Stefan. Other developing werepires start to wake up and Ray runs away. And then… STEFAN GETS NIBBLED ON. Klaus, go cure him! Oh. Yes, my heart hurts again because Stefan can now SEE and HEAR Elena from a mere couple of miles away. Stop teasing us guys.
Tyler wants answers. His momma is jealous. They have somewhat witty banter. She’s oblivious to what happens in her own family though. Anyway, moving on.
More mountains! Elena binged that moon apex thing, I’m sure. Oh hey, it’s Ray guys. It’s not a good week for him, though. Poor kid. He’ll die soon. He’s gone crazy.
Bromance time! Jeremy sniffs Vicki’s stuff and Matt pulls out a bong. Again, stay classy guys. Oh, but there’s some ghost action going on.
“Ric, here, take these.” *Damon takes rope instead and gets burned* “I said Ric!” Elena made another funny! It’s like we’re in an alternate universe or something. Elena’s funny. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. And Ray goes completely psycho. Elena finally decides it’s time to leave. Never let Elena come up with plans. Or Damon. Or anyone on the show for that matter.
Random thought: Where’s Bonnie? Where’s Caroline? Is Care dead? Did Bonnie’s dad kill her? What’s going on with that?
All these hybrids. So crazy. They all look awful. Bad week for everyone.
The trio are frolicking in the woods and Elena trips. Damon ensues more eye action. “Here doggie, doggie.” Bahaha. Who’s that wolf anyway?
Oh, lord. Tyler is making his mommy watch him transform. Although I do think it’s about time Carol knows about Tyler and their family lineage/curse, I don’t think it was the best way to tell her. But maybe if he didn’t do it this way then she wouldn’t have believed him. Considering all the nonsense that goes on in that town, werewolves wouldn’t be much of a surprise, either way. I almost feel bad for Carol for a moment.
Back to the woods! Damon fights off Ray and Stefan saves him yet again. I’m still wondering why Damon delivered that “She’s not gonna give up on you” line so weird and snarky like that. I mean, be a little more sincere why don’t ya. “Well… she has to. Because I’m never coming back.” Tissues please. Where are my tissues. My poor little shipper heart.
I also miss the Damon and Stefan bromance scenes, even though they were rare and far between. The books (I didn’t read them so I may be wrong) and the show are about the brothers. At least they should be. The focus should be on their relationship every so often. And people love it, surprisingly! It’s a really wonderful break from all the angst and love triangles and fights over a girl. As much as Damon may annoy me personally, I love seeing him with Stefan, just like it was in 1864 before Katherine came around. Speaking of Katherine, where did she go anyway? I hope she comes back too.
Pretty, emotional moment between Alaric and Elena here. Whether or not Elena can deal with being on her own, she and Jeremy need an adult figure in the house. Both, or all three of them rather, have no family left. Elena and Jeremy lost their parents and their her aunt, Elena’s biological parents are gone too; one burned up right in front of her and the other gave his soul so she can live and be human. Alaric lost his wife/ex-wife, he lost Jenna, the only person that made him happy, and I honestly don’t even know about his actual family. They need each other. Maybe not for financial support or parenting, but for company, and to just be a family. And Jeremy needs a father figure, however messed up they may be. They are meant for each other.
Stefan up on the mountain top looking down at Elena in the car. My shipper heart. He’s not completely gone yet. I’m going to lose it when he does.
Matt showing up at Jeremy’s door with a box of beer. Oh you guys. More bromancing. It’s nice that jeremy finally has someone to talk to about this creepy ghost stuff. Sentimental scene. But really Matt, I don’t think you were even there when Vicki died. Speaking of the ghost, Vicki shows up. And, well, apparently, guys, Vicki can come back. Like, back to LIFE. And we’re all like “…What?” and then Anna shows up busting windows and she’s all like “No, Jer, don’t trust Vicki,” and then we’re like “….Again… What?” and Jeremy’s just so confused and possibly sexually frustrated. And Matt just doesn’t even know what to do. He’s just there. He must be the most confused out of all of us. He can’t even see them.
Stefan carries Dead Ray back to Klaus. I told you guys that was pretty much all he did this episode. And Klaus is so upset and pissy his plan didn’t work. They psycho hybrids went rabid and poor guy had to kill them all. I found it refreshing that something FINALLY went wrong with one of this mans plans. I mean, his hybrid transformation worked for him, he didn’t die, he got Stefan to be his slave boy. What else was going to go RIGHT for him? It was about time something actually didn’t work. Plus, did anyone else yell “OH CRAP!” when Klaus looked up at Stefan like he realized that the doppelganger may still be alive? I know Elena can be boring and really stupid sometimes, but I worry about the child’s safety. Also, notice Stefan’s face when Klaus may or may not have realized what may or may not have happened with Elena. If you guys understand what I mean. But don’t worry, Stefan’s a good liar and all. He apologizes for having to kill Ray and Klaus gives him blood in a beer bottle. “It appears you’re the only comrade I have left.” I almost felt sorry for him but I did feel like hugging him, even though he might kill me.
Sappy Damon and Elena scene. “What changed your mind?” “I changed my mind because even in his darkest place, my brother still can’t let me die. So, I figure I owe him the same in return.” Aw, Damon. Good job. You’ve realized something very important here and I’m glad you’ll continue trying to help your wonderful brother. But wait, what are you doing here? What is this? It’s not right to have your brother save you for the hundredth time and turn around to hit on his girlfriend. And it’s really not necessary to make Elena tell you that she worries about you. She’s said it before. If you would listen, we wouldn’t have these problems, sir. Let me not say anymore. These type of scenes bother me. But hey, enjoy those scenes Damon and Elena fans.
That awkward moment when you wake up from a night of being a wolf, naked, in front of your crying mother, who’s locked up in a cage. Okay.
At least Carol actually does try to get Caroline back. But, I’m sure you know that you should have never even kidnapped her in the first place. There can be good vampires out there, ya know, lady. WHO IS THAT MAN?
CARE! Aw, poor thing. She’s always kidnapped and bound. When is she ever getting a break? And there’s that man again. What even, guys. DADDY? WHOA WHAT? Y’ALL. THAT’S SO MESSED UP. What a freaking twist.
Okay, so MVP this week is going to Joseph Morgan. Just because Klaus was creepy and psycho and pissy and sort of charming at the same time. JoMo’s acting is great.
Next week: DAPPER STEFAN. That is all.
Screencap credit: vampirediariesweb
Gif credit: promenons-nous
